A Independent Woman's Awakening
by Death of a Dark Angel
Summary: "Mostly, she mourned for herself. That she had allowed someone to change everything that made her who she was, to overtake her goals and success and twist it into their own, and that she had forgotten herself. She had forgotten her true self." But above else, Bella Swan is her own women. And make no mistake, no one can hold an independent woman down for long.


It's the last straw.

Now, mind you, she had always been a patient person. From a young age the mature beyond her years girl understood life didn't cater to any one person nor was necessarily kind at times. How could she not given the reality of her childhood? The daughter of two divorcee teens from a small town in the middle of nowhere, who'd never quite been able to fit in socially with others her age because of her constant changing of addresses and zip codes; of course she learned this fact early on. She was an adult in a child's body by the age of 10.

This truth had enable the girl to adapt. It allowed her to be a good daughter. She'd never gotten into trouble or raised a fuss when things did not go her way. She simply moved on and tried to take a negative and turn it into a positive. She had to with the cards she had been dealt in life.

She was a good daughter. That much could not be refuted. And when she turned from good daughter into good _caregiver_ under her mother's clumsy care, she rolled with that to. The girl understood that one day the actuality of her existence in its current state would not always be so. She would not always be forced into the role cased upon her since birth. Her parent's mistakes would not define who she had to be, according to their own personal conceptions of success.

Like, her mother who believed that settling down into motherhood and marriage was a most damning noose around ones neck.

Or her father who fantasized his baby girl in a white dress down the aisle to whatever faceless man who worshipped the ground she walked on and was finically and emotionally affluent enough to take care of her.

Needleless to say, neither dream suited the girl's own visions for her future.

But to state once more, she did not let that notion bother her. One day, after years of hard work and _patience,_ she'd path her own path and be free from the seemingly collision course she was being pushed upon.

So it was only natural for her carefully laid plans to be shredded out of the blue.

If the teen was ever going to save enough to do what she wanted, she'd have to get away from the finically unstable environment her mother thrived in.

Don't misunderstand, her reasons for leaving was in part because she wanted her mother to be happy. She loved her mother dearly. But it most certainly was not the only reason nor was the main one, the teenage girl smart enough to not mention out loud to either part in fear of hurting her loved ones feelings with the very harsh truth, admitted to herself. So she left sweltering Phoenix to damp, cold Forks.

And so the teenage girl's plans were forgotten, _momentarily_ , in favor for her very own _(tragic)_ love story. It ended as the girl prayed yet frantically hoped it would not; her heart pulpherized by the same emotion that she had tried so hard to avoid, that she had seen wreck her childhood several times. So the teenage girl mourned for her broken heart. She mourned for the future that had overtaken her childhood dreams that had nestled into the girl's heart.

Mostly, she mourned for herself. That she had allowed someone to change everything that made her who she was, to overtake her goals and success and twist it into their own, and that she had forgotten herself.

She had _forgotten_ her _true_ self. And at that time, she wasn't sure how to get it back.

She tried by doing what she had done once. She tried to take a negative and turn into a positive. She reached out to her friend, her childhood best friend, a soon-to-be young wolf, to attempt to fill the carved out hollow within.

It worked. For a while.

Until he too wanted his pound of flesh from her. Until her tried to force her into a version of herself that she thought she ought to be. He, who had taught her how to open herself back up to the world. He, who was responsible for healing her enough so that she could heal herself. He, who she would always be grateful too for that kind gift.

Unfortunately, for the young wolf, this time she had learned well enough to keep her distance from such attempts. While she may have been grateful for his efforts, not even he was entitled to such power of her. After last time, no one was.

He did not take that well. In a childish fit, the young wolf sought to punish the now young woman for her sudden distance. The young woman, while still not bowing down, did feel guilt and pity for her friend turned scorned suitor.

This guilt and pity, she soon discovered, was a mistake.

He manipulated the young woman's feeling to control her. The young wolf gained the goodwill of her father and had his pack mate's eventual approval after much whining and pestering. He tried to back the young girl into a corner.

This did not happen.

In the young wolves isolation from her, the young woman had learned one last lesson; how to stand on her own two feet.

She'd reconciled with the friends she'd pushed away when she had been weak and not in control of herself. She even made friends with pervious high school 'enemies.' She was ashamed to say that she had been a total judgmental jerk to most of them for no reason and could not believe she had let herself be so absolutely controlled by a _man_ that she let them dictate who her friends were. She was glad she had snapped out of it in time. She did want to have ever have missed this, the real friendship she had there.

Jessica had eventually warmed up once she had stopped acting, in Jessica's words, "like a pod person." She couldn't completely disagree with her.

Over time, the young woman had become good friends with everyone in the group, even the stuck-up Lauren, who she found wasn't so much stuck-up as hurt at being so easily dismissed. While the two girls were too different to be best friends, their friendship was still a warm and supportive one. Totally different from any other she'd had since she had arrived in this small town, even from the little fashion loving vampire who claimed to be her 'sister.' One she wouldn't trade for the world.

Just like she would not ever regret the true brother-sisterly bond, the one that _should_ have been there with the young wolf, with Mike and Tyler. Mike Newton, who once he understood that she would never be interested in dating him after she outright told him, was now the sweetest brother to her and the other girl's in the group.

Tyler, the other surrogate big brother in their group, who taught her how to let loose and live.

These friendships made her reconnect with her fellow humans in a way she hadn't before. They sunk in her skin like a soothing balm of the gentlest kind.

Next she fixed her relationship with her worried mother who she'd accidently ignored. Her mother that welcomed her back despite the obvious hurt she had caused in her ignorance. Her mother that only encouraged her daughter to follow her heart once she'd unburdened the load she had been carrying on her shoulders for years without speaking to anyone.

She focused on herself and no other relationships other than bonds of family and friendship. And finally, she had found herself, and smiled upon who she found.

She was finally grown up.

And the veil of deception had been lifted.

She saw everything for what it was. Her once friend was a spoiled child who sought to control her, as was her first boyfriend, the vampire who had tricked her into forgetting herself. It was the absolute last straw. She was so tired of being someone's play toy, manipulated at every turn for someone else's benefit.

No more.

The _woman_ sold all her furniture and anything of else she had no attachment too. It was much past time to do so, and the girl was completely ready to move on. Including scrapping that old truck her father had tried to bribe her with.

Sadly, the woman was unable to change her father's mind at that time. The man was too stuck on his own view of how he wanted his daughter's life to go. He could not be swayed to discourage the young wolf, who he had watched grow like his own. He did not see the real person behind the pretense.

She did not let this stop or deter her. She was confident he would see for himself in time the truth.

In replacement she bought herself something she'd always wanted but never dreamed of owning; she bought a sleek black Harley Davidson. Perfect for traveling.

Finally, the woman rode down to Seattle for her own makeover. It was now time to reflect what was inside on the outside.

Her long, curly mahogany hair into short textured waves that ended just above her shoulders. Her previous red highlights in her hair had been brought forward, making the woman's hair now more cooper than brown.

In the final touches she traded her plain jeans and t-shirt for a tan leather jacket and dark wash boot cuts.

The only thing left to do was say goodbye to her friends and father.

Obviously knowing the ensuing battle to come given the fact that she had done all this without telling her father her plans, she put him off for last.

First, she told her friends in Forks goodbye. Angela hugged her the tightest, having been close to her from the beginning. Next Lauren and Jessica offered to meet her up with her and join her when she was ready to stop traveling alone. Touched, especially knowing of her friend's aversions to random unscheduled trips, she gladly took them up on their offer. She appreciated that they understood that this was something she had to do for herself first.

It would be nice to have people to travel with when she was ready. People that were her _genuine_ friends.

Then of course her 'brothers' and Angela agreed to join, before they all gave her one last hug to send her off.

They were all sad to see her go, but happy she was exercising her independence.

The woman wanted to see her father. She wanted to tell him goodbye face to face.

But she knew she couldn't. If she did, he would not have let her leave, she knew. Not now. Not when he was still blind to the situation surrounding her.

So despite how it upset her to do so, the girl hopped on her Harley and immediately left town.

She would call him, and in time, he would hopefully understand why she had to leave.

* * *

Weeks later, after having explored almost all of the west coast and south, the woman passed the New York state border. She smiled a wide smile for the first time in a long time.

All the pain and ghosts of the past had been left behind to the wind. The woman had finally found herself and achieved the dreams of her childhood.

She would never again be trapped like she was. _**Never.**_

Bella Swan was her own woman, and she was free. And she would not let anyone take that from her again.

Bella Swan would be the independent, strong-willed, and intelligent woman she had always been forever.

She would simply be Bella Swan.

The _true_ Bella Swan.


End file.
